


Delusions

by KimmyCupcakes69



Category: Durarara, izaya orihara - Fandom, shizaya - Fandom, shizuo Heiwajima - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Nightmares, Shizaya - Freeform, trigger - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 18:29:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15249378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KimmyCupcakes69/pseuds/KimmyCupcakes69
Summary: Will Izaya fall victim to his venomous nightmares, or will he finally let someone in?





	1. Escaping Oneself

Run, run, run, faster, hurry! It's closer, closer, it's coming, it's near, can I escape it? I hear it breathing! It's here it's here. Run! 

I duck fast behind a nearby tree. It's dark and all I can hear is the sound of my heart pounding in my ears. Could it be gone? I don't understand what that thing was. How did I get here? There aren't any forests near my home. There isn't much of anything near my home. Was I kidnapped? What was that thing!? Why is it chasing me? It's not human. It's not an animal. I feel my heart slow a bit, still catching my breath. "I think it's gone..." big mistake. I hear a loud growl in my ear. I turn my head and meet eye to eye with this thing. It's too dark to make out much of its features. All I can focus on is it's deep crimson red eyes. So much anger behind them. I hadn't noticed how much this monster towarded over me. It's at least 10 feet tall. I can't run. I can't move! Is this the end? Is this how Izaya Orihara goes out? I feel it's teeth puncture my shoulder. It's deep and painful. My vision is going blurry. It grips me with its sharp claws and pulls me up to its face. It has a face like a werewolf but the body of a mummy. How could something so frail hurt me so much? I feel it's hot breath on my face. This is the end, isn't it? I feel tears begin to prick at my eyes. I feel so helpless. I try to take a deep breath, but it lunges it's massive claws right into my chest. I watch it pull out my heart and begin to laugh. I can't focus anymore. I can't comprehend anything. This is it.

 

I nearly jump out of bed when I wake up. I can't stop shaking. "Fuck.. not another one.." I mumble to myself. This is the fourth nightmare this week. What has been happening to me? Why am I having so many nightmares? I mean I normally have them, but this is now getting bad. These are monsters hurting me. I try my best to keep the tears in, but I know I'm failing. "Izaya? You're up?" Fuck. I woke Shizu-chan. I swallow hard, trying to get the lump out of my throat. I will not cry in front of Shizu-chan. "Yeah.. I'm up. Sorry Shizu-Chan. I didn't mean to wake you." I say softly. Just go back to sleep please. But of course that isn't like him. I know it isn't. He sits up and rubs his sleepy eyes. "Tell me what's up. Why are you up?" I feel his head rest on my shoulder. I know he's more than half asleep, but he still won't stop asking me until I tell him something. I have to think quick. "I uh I had to go to the bathroom." I say fast. He chuckles. "Then go, idiot." I stand up and stretch. While Shizuo lays his head back on his pillow I check my body to make sure I have all my flesh and limbs. I'm good. But I can still feel the horrible feeling of it's hands plunging through my chest. 

 

I start walking to the bathroom. I can feel the nightmare heavily. They're getting worse. This is the first time I've died in my dream. Does that mean I will really die? I have no idea and I don't think I want to know. I splash my face with water. "Come on, Izaya. You're tougher than this!" I'm not though. I know I'm not. And I just let the tears start pouring out now. I can't keep it in anymore. I don't want to die. I don't want to leave Shizuo behind. How do I make this stop? I'll do anything to get these to stop happening. I won't sleep anymore, yeah that's it. If I don't sleep, then I can't have nightmares. But Shizu-Chan will be so upset.. "I just won't tell him. I'll wait until he falls asleep every night and then I'll just do something to distract myself." I hurry up in here and head back to bed. Shizuo is probably already dead asleep by now. He's impossible to wake up sometimes. 

I was right. He's already dead asleep. 

 

He looks so precious when he sleeps. Maybe I could sit next to him for a bit. It makes me so sad that I can't tell him what is happening in my head. Would he be scared? Would he think I'm crazy? Hell, I think I'm crazy. This really isn't something I'm good with talking about either. I wouldn't know how to explain it. And what if he is upset I haven't been telling him? This is too much. My head feels heavy. I'm tired. I won't fall asleep though, I can't. I don't want to stop looking at his precious face. The way his mouth is slightly a gap when he sleeps. "You'll drool on yourself, silly..." I whisper as I wipe the drool from the side of his mouth. He grabs my hand in his sleep and snuggles into it. Ugh, oh boy. I can't help but smile. I kiss his forehead and lay down next to him. He cuddles into my chest almost instantly. "My sweet boy. I wish I could tell you what's been happening in my head." I don't even know what I would do if I found out he was having nightmares like these. I would fall apart. I rather have these things happen to me than to him. I ruffle his hair. He has the most beautiful blond locks. I don't deserve someone as precious as him. 

 

Time starts slowing down now. I feel my eyelids getting heavy. I don't want to sleep. I know what will happen... but Shizuo is so comfy. I can't help myself anymore. Maybe a minute or two of some shut eye won't hurt...

 

Or so I thought.


	2. Conquering ones fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When faced with the worst nightmare possible, is it enough for him to reach out for help?

I rustled around in my bed, turning from my left side to my right, facing Shizu-Chan's side of the bed. I hadn't had any nightmares. That was finally a first. "Good morning Shizu-chan" I said happily before opening my eyes. He didn't answer though. I opened my eyes and noticed that his side was empty. Where is he? Well, he does get up earlier than me most days. Maybe he's downstairs making some coffee. I sit up in bed and notice that his keys aren't on the nightstand on his side like they always are. Maybe he went somewhere. He's always working. I get up from bed and walk down the stairs to the living room. I don't see his shoes by the door. I also don't smell any coffee. Shizu-chan always makes coffee in the morning. Something isn't right. I should call him.

What!? "Where is his contact!?" Why can't I find anything on my phone? What is his phone number again? Ugh I never remember it. But this is different. I feel like it doesn't exist. This is getting scary now. I feel my heart beating fast in my chest. I don't like this. I dial the first contact on my phone. "Oh hi Izaya! What's up?" His voice is too cheerful for me right now. "Shinra, have you heard from Shizuo today? I can't find any of his stuff around the house and his contact isn't in my phone." There was a long pause and then a soft chuckle. "Is this some kind of prank, Izaya? Who's Shizuo? Is he another fake alter ego you've come up with?" I couldn't even form words. I dropped my phone. He doesn't know who Shizuo is? Yes he does! Maybe he's playing stupid? No he wouldn't do that, would he? I don't know anymore. Where is Shizuo!?

I ran all around the neighborhood. He's not here. No sign of him. No one knows the name. What is happening!? "Shizu-chan!" I scream, falling to my knees and crying into my palms. This can't be happening. This isn't real..

All of a sudden I hear a deep chuckle. My head shoots up and I look in that direction. The monster from my last nightmare is sitting on the couch in my living room. He's almost as tall as my house. His body is covered in black gunk and blood. His hands are long sharp razor claws, his head is shaped like a lions. He has eyes and a nose like a werewolf. All I can feel is his piercing red eyes on me. I don't know what to do. Is he here to finish me?

Suddenly he snaps his fingers, his razor claws clicking together loudly. And what I see makes me what to rip out all of my insides. "Looking for thissss?" It laughs. He's holding Shizuo's head in his hand. Two long claws are pierced through and sticking out the top of my boyfriend's lifeless head. "How... how could you!?! " I can't see through my tears anymore. I want to die. I hope this thing kills me. I want to be with Shizu-chan. "Please.. kill me too. Take me. I don't want to live anymore." I cry in defeat. But this just makes the monster laugh louder. "I shall never bring you such comfort. You deserve to suffer alone." 

I looked up through my teary eyes and he was gone. This isn't fair! If he won't kill me, I'll do it myself! I went to the kitchen and pulled out the sharpest knife I could find. "I'll be with you soon Shizu-chan. Don't worry baby..." I put the knife up to my chest. I have to be with the one I love. Even if it costs me my life.

 

Izaya! Izaya! Wake up! 

Huh?

I jump nearly out of bed. My face is drenched in tears. I'm shaking so hard. "Izaya what the hell?! Are you okay?" I know that voice. "Shizuo!? You're alive!?" I lunge at him and tackle him off the bed. I never want to let him go. Never ever. "Izaya what the hell happened? Are you okay baby? You were crying in your sleep." Shizuo is holding me tighter than I'm holding him. That's only because he's stronger than me. I would hold him so hard he would meld into me. "I had a nightmare. I've been having such bad nightmares... but this was the worst. You were gone! The monster. He..he ki-" shizuo kissed me hard. I loved the way his warm, life filled lips felt on me. "Stop rambling. I'm fine. You're fine. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon baby. They're just nightmares. You're safe with me. Alway. I'd never let anything hurt you." Shizuo starts petting my head lovingly. I want to stay right here in his arms with his soft hand petting me forever. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have him anymore. 

"I'm sorry Shizu-chan.. I've been having such bad nightmares lately. I was scared of telling you. There's this horrible monster. He hurt you! I didn't know what to do. I was going to kill myself. I don't want to live without you. I need you forever." Shizuo looked so sad but he smiled regardless. "Hey, it's alright Izaya. You're safe baby. I promise. And I would never let someone lay a hand on either of us. You know that. I wish you would have told me sooner." Shizuo picked me up and placed my softly on the bed. He climbed on top of me and kissed my face and neck. "You're safe. Always. Okay?" He kissed my tear stained cheeks. I nodded my head. 

He put the cover back onto my frail body and kissed me once more. He climbed into bed on his side and snuggled close to me. I laid on his chest and breathed in his scent. He always made me feel so calm. I don't know what I'd do without this idiot. He's my everything. 

"Get some sleep, Izaya. I'll stay up a bit to make sure you're okay. If you need me, wake me up and tell me what's wrong. I'll fix it. I always will." I smiled at him and snuggled into his chest. "Goodnight Shizu-chan." He smiled into my hair "goodnight flea."


End file.
